"Just listen to yourself. You sound like a proper loser, sitting there going on and on about how useless you are. It's your fault you're depressed. Yes, you have problems, but there are nine-year-old girls being sold as prostitutes in Thailand, so your situation doesn't sound that bad to me." A bird dons a pair of thinking wings and attempts to transcend its infamously small brain; but in imitating supposedly superior human beings, it only increses its capacity for arrogance and self-loathing. This illustrated guide to avian kwank shows how countless birds can be killed with one grey stone.